Alison's Confession
by McMuffinGreys
Summary: When the liars are reading through Alison's diary, they stumble across something that could reveal Ali's true feelings for her friend. EMISON. Mainly Canon/slightly AU. Oneshot based upon events in 4x15


**Hi guys :) so I'm very interested in writing a full on EMISON multichapter fic and I have a pretty good idea of what I want to write about but I thought I should get some practice in writing Emison before I set myself such** **a high target.**

 **So, here is a oneshot of what I thought the girls should have found in Alison's diary all of those seasons ago (having just seen 6x01 I am finding it** **very hard to think of anything else, but I have tried so...)**

 **This is my first Emison fic so don't go too hard on me and let me know if you think I should start a longer story and if you even want me to :)**

 **Thanks and enjoy...**

* * *

"This one is about me" Aria said as she read the extract about 'Suzy Clueless' in Ali's diary, "purple me," she said as Spencer handed her a purple post-it note.

"Are we really actually going to find anything useful in that thing," Hanna snapped, "Alison Dilaurentis was a mean, cold-hearted bitch without a soul. It's not like she would have actually written about how she felt or who upset her."

Hanna turned her head out of the window of the front passenger seat of the car as Emily drove the girls to the Busy Bee Inn, trying to find out what Alison had hidden in the secret messages of her journal. Spencer looked at Aria and Emily glanced over at Hanna's defeated form. It was no secret that Hanna had been deeply affected by old Alison's behaviour but she hadn't had an outburst like this in what seemed like forever. Aria went back to silently flicking through the pages.

"Han, are you okay?" Emily asked with a worried frown. Hanna huffed in response but didn't say anything. "Hanna Marin," Emily demanded in a sterner tone, "talk to me right now or I swear I will pull over to the side of the road until you talk to me." Spencer smiled at 'angry' Emily; it was always entertaining when their friend, who was usually the sweetest one of them all, took charge and demanded the nonsense to stop.

The blonde in the front passenger seat could only sigh as a single tear fell down her cheek; she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand as she sat straighter in her seat. Her eyes left the window and glared back at the brunette in the driver's seat. Emily was taken aback at the pain she saw flash through her friend's eyes as they filled with more tears.

"I really don't want to talk about it, Emily," Hanna pleaded with the brunette, "I'm sorry Em, really, but I'm not ready, I can't." Her voice broke as she said the last word and Emily held out a hand as support for her friend who needed her.

"Um, Emily?" Aria interrupted, "did you read all of Ali's diary?" Her voice seemed wary and rather surprised at something she had found.

"Most of it. I sort of, well, I sort of fell asleep near the end. Why?" Emily shifted in her seat; she didn't want to tell the other girls that she had fallen asleep dreaming about Alison, especially not with Hanna feeling all of this resentment inside of her. Truthfully, Emily didn't know how she felt about the certain blonde who had once played with her emotions so skilfully; ever since she saw Alison again in that warehouse, she knew that the feelings she had years ago hadn't disappeared but she also knew that she had grown so much over the years and she wasn't just going to be a puppet to Alison's games anymore. She didn't really know what had been a lie or a truth when they had spent time together before the blonde's disappearance.

"There's a section that's hidden off at the back," Aria continued.

"What?" Spencer interrupted, suddenly curious. She grabbed the book from **Aria's** hands and pulled at the back cover to reveal a flap that opened up to reveal a single, folded up piece of paper. Emily glanced at Spencer through the rear-view mirror and even Hanna turned around to watch Spencer carefully unfold the sheet of paper. The other girls heard their friend take a sharp intake of breath as she looked up at Emily.

"What is it?" Emily asked, her voice growing restless as she waited impatiently for Spencer to tell them what Alison had hidden.

"It's about you, Em," Spencer revealed, her voice barely a whisper. The brunette in the driver seat took a deep intake of breath and she raised her eyebrows in surprise. She didn't know whether to expect good news or bad news and if she was being honest, she wasn't even sure she knew what good news would be even if she heard it.

"Read it."

"Are you sure," Spencer asked warily, unsure whether to continue, "don't you want-"

"Just read it Spence," Emily interrupted, "I want to know what she said."

"Alright," Spencer replied, taking one last glance at the other brunette's back before she brought her eyes back to Alison's confession.

"Dear Emily,

Oh god, I don't even know how to write this down, my hands are shaking so much (I bet you can tell from my handwriting). ;)

So I'm probably not even going to give this to you but I hope that one day I will be ready. Last week was, well, last week was probably one of the scariest weeks of my life- and not just because someone is threatening me. Last week, I was rereading the love story of Pip and Estella, sitting in the library, when I heard someone walk up to me. Usually I feel annoyed if someone interrupts me reading, but when I saw it was you, I was happy. Genuinely happy. I know you probably don't believe me but that doesn't happen very often. I don't like that everyone hates me; I don't like that the entire world is afraid of me but I'm just scared that they wouldn't like me even if I was being myself- it's just easier this way. But with you, Emily, it's different. You see me and not just the me that I show everyone else; somehow, you manage to break down this whole façade that I have spent so much time creating and can see I'm not this person. That scares the hell out of me Emily.

For months I have noticed something different between us; something more than just friends and when you kissed me that day in the library, it just confirmed everything that I had been feeling. You made me feel something for the first time in a long time and that is hard to manage. I've had relationships before, Em. I've had some complicated ones that no one else knows about and I thought it was love. There's this one boy, well he's actually more of a man, and he reads all of the classics (maybe even more than me) and I thought it meant we were soul mates but even he doesn't know me like you do."

Spencer paused, looking next to her at Aria who was frowning at the mention of what was probably Ezra with Alison. Emily hadn't even noticed that she had pulled the car to side of the road and her eyes were filling with tears. She fought back the lump in her throat and broke the silence that had enveloped the car.

"Keep going," she forced out, her voice sounding strange, thick with emotion. Hanna looked between Spencer and Emily, too shocked to say anything.

Spencer broke eye contact with Emily and continued to read Alison's letter.

"When we were changing in the locker room after swim practice last Friday, I knew I was tempting fate when I asked you about my new French lingerie. Honestly, I just wanted to impress you and I also wanted to figure out what you were feeling. I was too scared to ask you and I still am. I know that I'm being horrible to you and unfair and untruthful but I don't know what to do and I don't know how to act around you anymore. This is all so confusing; I've never had feelings like this for a girl before and Em, you're my best friend. I know that we could have something really special but I'm not ready, and honestly I don't think you are either; could you imagine what your mum would say?

Anyway, I turned you away like it was nothing in the locker room and I outwardly said that I 'don't like you like that'. I wish this whole situation was easier and I wish that I didn't have as many enemies. Do you know how many people want to kill me right now? There is a never ending list and if you and I were to become anything more than friends, I'm terrified that you would become a target as well.

I can't believe that I'm writing this down because I know that you will never read it but I have to tell someone how I feel about you, even if that is just myself. I love you, Emily, as more than a friend. I'm completely in love with you and the way you smile, the way you are so loyal and trustworthy, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you wear it down and how you always make me feel better. I love you against reason, my sweet Emily, and I hope that one day I will have the courage to say that to your face. Until that day, I will be praying that you don't hate me.

Love always,

Your Ali

Xxxx"

Spencer looked down at the paper she was reading in utter shock and she looked up at Emily with her mouth open.

"Wow," Aria whispered, with an expression similar to Spencer.

"I know," Hanna replied, forwarding a small smile to her friend in the driver's seat.

Emily turned around from where she had been facing Spencer, and slumped into the seat, staring straight ahead.

"I can't believe it," Emily breathed out, "Alison Dilaurentis loved me back."

 **So... Any thoughts?**


End file.
